with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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