You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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