We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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