Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."

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(435): View more from Utah

Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.

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(917): View more from New York City

Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.

(347): View more from New York

I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.

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(212): View more from New York

The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.

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(703): View more from Virginia

i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me

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(678): View more from Georgia

And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass

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(210): View more from Texas

my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...

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(214): View more from Texas

Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad

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