What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
