His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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