I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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