Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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