dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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