dude i'm inner monologue high
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
