apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
