remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
