Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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