i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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