Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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