I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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