i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
