doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
