We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
