we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
