you would pick up someone in the library
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
