I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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