Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
