I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
