Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
