i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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