I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
