do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
