Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
