i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
