that's an acceptable place to lick
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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