Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I am mentally ready for anal.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
