So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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