i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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