A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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