Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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