I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
