Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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