hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm just crazy horny about you
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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