I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
