ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
