Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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