Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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