Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
