i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
im holly from the hills drunk
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
