Banned from zoo.
Again?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
