We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
