id be glad to
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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