Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
