I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
ttyl tear gas
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
