I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
