Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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