are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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