Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
