we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize