I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
