Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
