bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
