What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
