Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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